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Still Awake
Never the time that I want to die
But I feel I should just say good-bye --
Sometimes to this life, so I can reach the sky
By myself with no one else- How I'm supposed to fly.
Let's count the number of attempts
Like Apollo missions; hollow and take a follow
As you drift upon my journey,
Long before I wrote poetry.
See, this bleach goes down me
Like blood does for a leech,
Swallow it down by the gallon
While my best friend listens in
Forget this for now until I pass out
Awake on the couch
Hours past the forgotten task
Found with blood and vomit on my outer mask
Take a shower but my mouth is still sour
I count the minutes and the hours and the days
But I still can't seem to slip away
I count the months and the years and the decades
And I can't believe I'm still awake
I tried to slit my arms and wrists
But it only stings a little bit, not a big risk
But the pain still sustains for a few days while it stays
Blood lines that stain, that give it away, maybe I'm insane-
In the membrane, because my brain escaped and I had to chase it
Out the window, two floors below because it told me to follow
Come tomorrow, I tore my elbow and broke my toe bones.
Nope, objective not fullfilled,
Point me in the path of the pills
To get this done with quick, I tried to overdose on Nyquills®
Mixed with oxycontin, chased it down with Vicks 44®-
All before I couldn't take anymore, now I'm on the floor
Hallucinations take my brain with infestation in contemplation
The light points me free to full body purification
No more contamination, it's not worth damnation
So before I go can I borrow your calibur fourty-four
To shoot my core so you can watch my gore soar
I count the minutes and the hours and the days
But I still can't seem to slip away
I count the months and the years and the decades
And I can't believe I'm still awake
