What a Wish Looks Like

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The Influence

my absent faith seems to block out the sun
when everything i know is laying at my feet
i feeel so unbarably uncomplete
god save me from this undoing
if i could just escape this body

i currently only breaethe for just the sensation of waiting
yet nothing is coming, nothing will
well nothing worthwhile to strive for.
i have been molded into a shell.
that blocks everyone out
including myself

if only,
i said it so many times
and even if only is short lived
i always want something more
and that also is short lived
if only i could teach my self to be satisfyed
and yet there i go agian

you can only dream so much
to you start wishing,
and hoping that everything will change
and nothing ever will.
my life has told me so
and proved me right.

if only i could grasp more,
and achieve more
then these holes in my life will be filled.
i would have worth
values, morals
and i wouldnt have to strive for acceptence
of myslef.

ive done wrong
rarly do right.
these words are my life
layed out and spread out,
for whom it may concern
and it sadly doesnt concern me

if only i could do myself justice
but what could that bring me
these words are all i know
if only someone were to read them
before i do.
and make sense of it and tell me what to do.
tell me what to feel
what to see
if only i wasnt calling the shots
becuase i take all the wrong ones.

if only i wasnt blinded
and could see me for me
not my regrets
if only i could see what everyone else sees
than maybe i could undesrtand
but if only these "if onlys" came true
than i wouldnt be who i am
not sure if thats good or bad
you tell me.

these words say it all
its my only story
if only i talked less and listened more
but if only if someone reads these first
then maybe they could tell me what to see.

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