Remember to breathe


Been weeks since she's seen him,

stopped trying to get close.

Tired of being burned,

trying to be friends.

Tells herself it won't matter,

she won't let anything show.

Cool, calm, collected,

put on her own mask.

There's a knock,

he's outside, waiting.

A little girl runs to the door,

all the innocence of youth.

'Remember to breathe',

she tells herself distantly,

as all her defenses crumble.

He walks in, graceful and aloof,

smiles slightly in greeting.

The little one he scoops into his arms,

as she laughs with joy.

She watches the pair,

always avoiding his eyes,

thankful he never seems to notice.

Always the nervousness returns,

her brain fails, her mask almost slips.

Heart pounding so loudly it seems,

can he hear it?

Then she's lost, she knew it'd happen,

it always does, no matter how hard she tries.

She tries to be normal,

a fake smile to cover the rattled nerves.

He either doesn't notice,

or doesn't care to,

he never asks.

He leaves, the little girl with him,

happy and carefree,

and he looks back for one moment.

Careful not to let the charade fail,

not to let him see her weakness,

remembering belatedly to breathe.

Gone, for just a few hours,

and she stops sinking at last.

All her defenses,

so carefully constructed are gone,

with barely a look's devastaion.

Drained and weak,

thoughts of him on her mind,

she knows she's lost this round.

Always another stands in her way,

but she still hopes,

in the very back of her heart that he'll see,

that she still feels for him, stupidly.

Wishing she could trust him,

wanting to be his friend,

but fear barrs her way.

In just a few hours,

she'll go through it again.

Why does she have to feel so much,

why did it have to happen again?

Drowning again in misery,

in something close to love,

closing her eyes from the pain,

trying to remember to breathe again.

He'll never see what's before him,

so she settles down to wait,

regain her wits,

for the next battle with fate.

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