I remember


I remember looking in your eyes,

laying back against your chest, just friends.

I remember listening to Manson,

cuddling with you, when you asked me to be yours.

I remember when it all started to fall to pieces,

when you said you would be there in a few minutes,

when all I wanted was to let you know,

to say I had no home.

Got into a fight with my mom, started to lose it,

to hit things around me, you held me,

calmed me down, and let me cry.

I remember the nights, sitting in the hall,

hearing your voice, singing softly.

I remember waking up next to you,

hadn't meant to fall asleep, but I almost had to leave.

Your parents were so upset, and I ran that night,

ran from you, till I realized I had no where left to go.

I came back to find you waiting,

sitting on the porch, tears in your eyes,

tears that were because of me.

I remember holding you, when the truck flipped,

trying to keep you together.

I remember the second fight with my mom,

I lost it again, hit the seat of the truck in front of me,

you held me again, restrained me.

I remember painting the house,

you sneaking up to kiss me,

the paint fight.

I remember the church, the movies we watched,

for once I felt like I had a family,

like I had a home, you gave me that.

I remember sitting on the bus with you,

sometimes talking, sometimes just watching you sleep.

I remember church, going only to be with you,

but then you ruined it for me.

I remember walking with you to class,

passing letters back and forth,

meaningless conversation.

I remember the afternoons, you laying against me,

playing your game, as I was lost in thought.

I remember the nights your parents were home,

only I understood your emotions.

I remember the nights on the porch,

just talking, joking.

I remember when I told you about Sarah,

you went away from me, went inside your mind.

I couldn't reach you.

You hit the wall with a belt, as I sat in silence,

finally, you came to me, held me.

I remember the nights, I'd see you in the shadows,

watching me without a word.

I remember the lunch conversation we had,

when you first said you thought you loved her.

I remember the letter you gave me,

all it said was "I love you" again and again.

I remember the tears, happy ones I cried,

that quickly turned cold.

My weekend away, I knew you really loved her,

I was no fool, I didn't care anymore.

I remember that night on the porch,

when you tried to make me promise I would be ok,

but I didn't want to promise you anything, not anymore.

You held me again, restrained me, but this time I'd fought,

hoping I hurt you a little too.

When I was pregnant, you were the first I told,

wanted you to love me again.

When I was weak and needed help,

you walked her to class, then came back for me.

I remember now, she meant more to you than me,

thank you for making that clear.

Still, you wanted me near, wanted me to sit with you,

if only in silence, I did.

I remember the last time I saw you,

at McDonalds, you've changed very little,

I still saw that impishness in your eyes.

I remember the familar waves of pain,

that come to me when I think of you,

of that smile that still gets to me.

She's my best friend now, haven't you heard?

But does she know our secret?

Did you ever tell her?

I remember things you don't,

secrets that are locked inside.

I don't want to remember any of this,

but I do, I remember you.

I wanna let it all go, to forget it all,

but I can't, so I just remember.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

D/t: Mike. This poem pretty much highlights a lot of the relationship we had, the ups and downs. but I know we still have a long way to go.

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