I must be dreaming


Another long night,
new nightmares coming to claim me.

His hands on my body,
trying to block it out.

Pulling away,
screaming inside my head.

This isn't me,
it can't be real,
I must be dreaming!

Wanting to run,
escape from it all,
but I feel dirty, tainted.

Hands balled in fists,
nails digging into my palms,
trying to deny what's happening.

He tries to lay me down,
his hand on my breast,
trying to slide down my pants.

Push him away,
bolt for the door,
trying to wake from this nightmare.

Fighting the tears,
I won't let him see,
he'll never know how badly he's gotten to me.

Damaged and broken,
dirty and scarred,
Don't touch me!

Trying to be my friend,
gain my trust,
only to attack when my guard's down.

Get away,
leave me alone,
just let me cry and bleed.

Hope I can forget,
block it all out,
just another bitter memory.

It never happened,
I wish I could believe,
just another lie,
it's not real, that wasn't me,
wake me up,
I must be dreaming!

Author's Notes/Comments: 

After I was almost raped, I was in a sort of shock, and had nightmares for a while. But I wrote this with the encouragement of my best friend and it's made what happened easier to bear some days..thanks Calvin

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