Empty love: forced smiles

Folder: 
Exes

He wasn't really my type,
but he says I make him happy.

I care about him,
see so much sadness in his eyes.

Tired of hurting people,
why do they all love me so much?

Can't they see the coldness inside me,
see that I hurt those I touch?

He cherishes me, kisses me so softly,
but I feel so far away from him.

Lost in my own thoughts,
miles away, he lets me wander.

He trusts me, waits patiently,
hoping one day I'll share my secrets.

He says I break down his walls,
but he can't penetrate my own.

Not fair to hurt him, this I know,
but I don't want to be alone.

He's so sweet, seems so different,
so why don't I feel anything?

His touch brings me back,
jerks me from my reverie.

He asks if I'm ok,
but I don't hear his words.

I smile blankly, try to sound sincere,
and he seems to buy it.

How can I explain I don't love him,
when he falls a little more for me each day?

I should set him free,  I know it in my heart,
but I can't force the words out.

When everytime he looks at me,
I wish I could see the me he sees.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Why do we love those who hurt us, yet hurt those who love us?

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