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I bought this piece of hardware

And now I think I'm dead

It was supposed to help my system

By being screwed up on my head

So out I got the hammer

And out I got the nails

Then I looked into the manual

For all the hard details

It said to screw one on the left

And then one on the right

It said to let no screw be loose

To make sure they were tight

So of course I followed word for word

And stuck the nail right in

But it never told me what to do

When a leak begins

So then I stuck the right one in

And got the same effect

Surprisingly it hurt a lot

And now I'm very wet

My system is still just the same

But something changed with me

I think I might be comatose

What could the problem be?