(T. Beechey)

So many ways

I tried to make him see

Just so he'd praise

And not sarcastically

But somehow

He refused to even try

I was not allowed

And a failure in his eye

The other kids, they played all kind of sports

I never did, I was busy making forts

In the backyard out of boxes big and small

And I'd be the guard, I'd never let them fall

My father, he would only shake his head

And remind me of the lonely life I led

“This way that you behave is wrong,” he'd claim

“And I'm sorry that I gave to you my name.”

So many times

I tried to make him see

That it was no crime

For me just being me

But somehow

He just never understood

I was not allowed

For only his own good

“Why don't you act like Jimmy down the street?”

He'd tell me what I lacked, then he'd repeat

“Jimmy always makes his parents proud.”

Each morning I'd awake beneath this shroud

“You'll never guess what Jimmy did today!”

I couldn't care less, he'd tell me anyway

Everything was Jimmy this and Jimmy that

Jimmy couldn't miss, I always ended flat

So many ways

I tried to let him know

It was not a phase

It was how I come to grow

But somehow

He could not comprehend

I was not allowed

This discussion's at an end

I could never make the grade and it was plain

Always in Jimmy's shade I would remain

Even as I grew from boyhood to a man

I can never do what Jimmy does and can

I tried for quite a while to make his cut

But I couldn't make him smile no matter what

He couldn't ever give me signs of love

I wasn't Jimmy or a facsimile thereof

So many times

I tried to let him know

There was a rhyme

And reason to my flow

But somehow

He would never realize

I was not allowed

There was no compromise

When he died, they told me I should grieve

But something deep inside refused to leave

The feelings that I had since my youth

And I don't miss my dad and that's the truth

Jimmy, if someday you read these words

All I have to say is that I heard

And I feel real bad, I hope you're doing fine

He was more your dad than he was ever mine

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