My Gift

The Soul's Journal

If only she knew, if only I could say,

If only she could hear the words that I pray,

And only if she felt my hearts steady beat

She would know why I melt every time our lips meet

Why I caress her stomach and the balls of her feet,

The admiration that i just can't express when I speak

Our time is sincere and our conversation deep,

She understood my life better than anyone in one week

But my dreams are rejected at night when I sleep,

And it takes every  ounce of man in me, sometimes, not to weep

I pray for understanding, but my mind it will haunt,

that I try to give her gifts that she just does not want

I try to give her love that she says she doesn't need,

She says that it's her, I truly believe that it is me

In my attempt to express, I just cannot achieve

In my attempt to expand, I can only recede

She is worth more to me than the air that I breathe

She made me re-evaluate the man I want to be

Why then is there still doubt, still in her, and still in me

Sometimes I think I'm not enough, Does she think the same of me?

How does she feel when we wake up and we're lying face to face

I wish I didn't have to ask, but I'm compelled to know our fate

Maybe I misinterpret, when I see she's filled with anger

When she looks at me with the fear of that you would have with strangers

But its the little things she does, to put all my troubles at ease,

Like when she puts my head to her chest so I can hear her spirit breathe

When she tells me that she loves me, because she wants me to know,

And she speaks of yellow-babies and how she wants to watch them grow

All she wants is piece of mind, to feel secure with what we have,

I don't blame her, not at all, I want and need to know as bad

And when I know for sure, and try to give her all I got,

Will this be a gift that she doesn't want?

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