the relationship, we finished before we started,

a race neither of us ran in, before it we parted,

i go through all the scenarios, i view each alternative ending,

i manipulate space and time, the continuum i'm constantly bending,

and we're in it, always together,

attached, like a ball and tether, 

but it's only in my head, and i realize this,

yet, regardless, it's you whom i miss,

my imaginary friend, yet you exist,

felt, as if we almost kissed,

but we didn't, and never will, 

so it hurt, and it hurts still,

i don't daydream, i dream about the day my daymares turn into night terrors,

when i can let go, detach myself from the other-people-carers, 

i think about her, i think about us,

i think about the lack of her, the lack of us,

i think about why i'm thinking about that,

i think this is ridiculous, actually, i know this is ridiculous,

i think that at least, all of this is inconspicuous,

i think about love, about how to define it,

and right when i think i've found the answer, i have to refine it,

de-spine it, rewrite it, tackle and fight it, let it run away,

back to the drawing board, maybe i'll figure it out one day...

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