Building The Courage

saturday night, i'm crying, back hunched over the computer keyboard,

heart plummeted, not soared, sore eyes bugged out, bawled out, tears crawled out, 

life ticks by, barfly, the vodka and i, we share an imagination,

yesterday, today, tonight, the loss of time links this concatenation,

everyone screams nobody cares, amongst the glassy-eyed, deadened blank stares,

it hurts, drown it with music but it stays afloat,

it finds a way across every dam, every pit and moat,

try to suffocate it, crouched in the fetal position, 

arms clenched around myself, this is my only mission,

so lonely, i open myself, take me,

building the courage to slit my wrists, to let this mistake free,

it's a sad, sad song, a wretched existence, a scratched soundtrack,

lost, to never be found, leave, to never come back,

as if the superlatives on this paper will affect anyone,

as if the seconds i've wasted here could resurrect anyone,

answers, play with that belly ring, each finger tip like the tiniest of dancers,

my heart burns, its lambency titillates but far out of reach,

i'm shivering, stay my imaginary friends, love me i fervently beseech,

i want to die, want to end on a low note to ensure i'm not missing out,


kissing the air, kissing it passionately, to hell i speed this route…

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