Half & Half

Lights dim, flicker, a relationship groans, fizzles out,
God laughs, on every hope, the sky drizzles doubt,
I guess it’s a test, the argument eliminates, nixes the word love,
If it does, which it did, cupid’s hand fits the bloody glove,
Argument – automatically trashes the vacation, vacation erased,
I didn’t realize this, over the house of cards my thoughts disgustedly paced,
Ah, maybe it’s for the best? I don’t know what the best is, wouldn’t know it if it slit my wrists,
Accomplishments needed: to find her – it’s repeated thousands of times on all the lists,
It’s funny, it’s ironic, because I wouldn’t know it, I wouldn’t know it if she begged to come in,
The carnival, smoke and mirrors, poke the paddy cake smearers, silly easter bunnies,
Life is depressing, I go straight to drugs, the newspaper is depressing, I go straight for the funnies,
Ah I’m tired, I look at my hands typing these words,
Spiders spinning poetry, pecking at the order these birds…
What is the right decision, when I desire something different on a daily basis,
Tantalizing trysts, late night liaisons, a dim lighted dark alley way kiss,
Such movie scenes I play on repeat, front row seat to the center of my mind,
The elevator descends, recedes, the elevator cables begin to unwind,
Do I settle? Is it even settling? Do I unknowingly have everything I want?
Or do I know it, yet ignore it, push it away, will my lack of always taunt?
Love exists as long as you believe it, god exists as long as you believe it,
But that is aside from reality, fabricated when your mind decided to weave it,
Goal: live in front of death as long as possible , quarantine it like one rabie,
Strings of thoughtitudes, longitudes and latitudes, axioms, maxwellims maybe,
Random thoughts only to offer a second of solace…

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