why do i feel stress over the idiotic things i can't have,

why would god allow me to be the way i am,

how do desires form,

how did i become like this,

because of this, i am always lonely,

because of this, i will never have what i want,

i hate what i want,

then change what you want,

i've been trying, and now i am hopeless,

you should never lose hope,

hope implies a possibility that is fully or partially out of our control,

and this, ironically, can fuel anyones hopelessness,

i don't know what you're talking about,

neither do i,

wanting sex is good, unless you crave what you can't have,

unless you crave the slow suicide of someone else,

unless you crave something that takes years and years and years to achieve,

unless your craving is incessant,

unless your craving is not societally appealing,

unless you are me,

i am smart,

i have a degree, this degree doesn't matter,

i have a part time job, i make minimum wage,

my feet hurt at the end of the day,

my life is so much better than millions of others around the world,

why doesn't that matter to me,

why doesn't any of this really matter to anyone,

i'm cursed, by something,

by my brain,

but you can change your brain,

where do i find a manual on that,

read a book,

it's like advice, always sounds great because everything is considered simplistic,

everything is not simplistic,

maybe i am,

i don't know what to do, what do i do?

second, second, second, second, second, second,

it will add up to an hour,

it will add up to a day,

it will add up to your death,

and all problems will disappear.

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