The Day After

the night before - wonderful, today i'm alone and needy,

bored - i desire to be connected, loneliness and myself, aiming for a cease fire treaty,

no problem for her, she's trained - family and friends to erase from the fling,

me - i have no one - and to that fleeting passion i cling,

i can have someone that needs me or someone that I need - but never both,

so many painful longings, loyal to sadness - depression - my strongest unspoken oath,

stranded in limbo, with no support system around,

i sink deeper, to desire's dead weight i'm eternally bound,

why am i this way? hopefully a treatable chemical imbalance,

but i've already been down that cul-de-sac, what i have incurable to even the greatest talents,

between tears and wishing - i'm divided like fractions,

no defense, emptied of money and friends - the best distractions,

how should we trudge through life? - suffering to get by? brainwashing the heart cold?

it must be - core experiences support everything against what i've ever been told,

not of this world, for i'm so emotionally attached,

always unreciprocated - to me, the ones i want, they are never latched,

struggling over what possibly means the world, what should mean so little,

how i live day to day internally, still no solution - no wisdom - to life's riddle,

no one can see it nor do they particularly care, and why should they? drowning in such a vast, desolate ocean,

i beg for it to die, but it can't be killed, the root of my existence, my soul - my aching emotion.

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