The Bar 2

Dissipating into the dimness of local bars,

The chatter in my head nothing but vocal scars,

I try to feel a little bit better,

Rolling with the confidence of a newly afflicted bed wetter,

I keep going, or maybe this is stagnation,

Fail at everything, a sickening sensation,

Causes constant perspiration,

Constipation and consternation,

The dream is there, haze obstructs my view though,

What do I expect, uninhibited I let the mental weeds grow,

The dream remains, can't kill it,

The cup of my disappointment, constantly overfill it,

The love I create, I spill it,

Aspirations, all I do is sit here trying to will it,

Knowing it's a joke,

At this moment, I'd snort a strangers coke,

Cane, sugar cane, I won't make it to the point where I need to walk with a cane,

Nope, a goner in training,

Fuck this life, I only have one but goddamn it's draining,

Everyone else keeps going,

If you can, believe in the all-knowing,

It helps, and I can't do it,

Fuck this life, I already blew it,

It's game over now, and game over when I die,

Away from this reality, I never shy,

A fly on the wall, I observe it all happening around me,

So alone, yet somehow I let it all surround me,

I'm just like everyone else - trying to get through it blindly,

Blame me - a fight I put up since death rarely takes us kindly...

And death, always on the doorstep,

Always looking over my shoulder - I need more time to prep,

Incredibly lonely,

It's me myself and I - the one and only,

Over garbage lusting,

Dignity continually rusting,

The pictures - only matter when what's in them are gone,

When what's in them are buried, under the cemetary lawn...



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