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(POE)

Once again, I cant see them coming down my eyes

So once again ... I make this poem cry

My age is a two besides a three - Yes, the number Jordan made famous

Yet within my 23 - I am far from being famous

I find myself wearing red, black, and white - Like he did

But I don't find success - Like he did

I work hard and practice harder - On all my poetic plots

But the question is, when will this conditioning - Make these tears stop?

When am I going to be able - To smile for my craft

Say "hey mommy I did it - The book's in stores atlas

Your oldest son has did it - I am finally legitimate

I can finally buy the house - That I always promised you

And make tears pour from your eyes - That mean, I love you"

Is that too much to ask? - Do I want too much?

Or am I doing this all for nothing - Wasting my time pretty much?

Once again, I cant see them coming down my eyes

So once again ... I make this poem cry

Jesus or Allah - Where are you?

I reached out many times - For the both of you

But it's like you're both thinking - "With him, I'll have nothing to do"

Am I that bad off? - Is my soul eternally lost?

Is my past so dark - That I cannot touch a Qur'ran or a cross?

All I'm asking for is a sign - A simple gesture if you will

Cause daily I feel my soul is dying - Has it already been killed?

Have I lost the only gift - I know thats been giving to me?

Or are you both attempting to make me stronger - By keeping me in adversity?

If that is the case - I cannot take much more

See, my knees are raw & sore - From hours of praying on the floor

I have permanent redeye - Because these tears constantly pour

And my bodies weakening - From the pain I endure

But I'll keep knocking - In hopes one of you will open the door

Once again, I cant see them coming down my eyes

So once again ... I make this poem cry

If you're an avid reader - Of all of my lines

You'd notice I speak of my Father - Many, many times

It hurts me to my heart - He's not a part of my life

It's like he took a chance on me - Basically rolling the dice

I cant lie - In his absence, I've become a better man

But that doesn't change the fact - That I love that man

Every time I look into a mirror - I see his face

How can I keep him off my mind - If he's in my face?

I see many, many qualities - That I've inherited from him

And fact is - I hate everyone of them

I hate how I talk with my hands - And lick the side of my mouth

When my mother points out similarities - Inside I always shout

Internally screaming - "Get him out of me"

It's funny how he did me wrong - And yet I'm hating me

But as always, I suck up all the pain - Not allowing these eyes to rain

Cause holding it all in - Is how I keep myself sane

And though it's a year later - This poetic bird is trying to fly

But I haven't changed much - Since my poems continue to cry



(Poet)

The tears still form- Dampening my eyes,

But keeping my cheeks dry- Instead I make poems cry.

I make them shed my emotions,

Of living a Life- And just going through the motions.

Forming endless oceans- Where the dark thoughts swim,

Where the hope for rescue is hopeless- And the outlook is grim.

I make them cry from the feelings- Of living a Life concealing,

The countless mental lacerations- That have no chance of healing.

The emotional incarceration- Because over the years my heart has stoned,

Showed the signs of needing a friend,

But now my brain is empty where those thoughts once roamed.

And where I had once grown- My growth has now been stunted,

And where my Love was once shown- Now from that place I am running.

Behind my eyes they form- But I must keep my face dry,

To my pride they will do harm- So instead these poems I make cry.

Telling the story of how I grew up half-whole,

Born a single twin- Since birth I've had a half-soul.

The story of my Life will always be half told,

I'm only half the mold.

But while carrying this load- It seems that I've been abandoned,

Left in the dark and cold- On a dirt road, I was stranded.

Granted no immunity- For all that which I've survived,

Maybe it's what he chose to do to me- In order to keep me alive.

And I've tried to see the silver lining- But the darkness has been blinding,

After all these years of searching- And I've still been unable to find me.

The distress becomes tiring- I look up and ask God why,

Then my thoughts begin to form- And instead, I make poems cry.

I make these poems leak tears- Caused by the pain inflicted,

Over the years from seeing my parents- Illegally sell prescriptions.

A subject from which I have hidden- Because it hurts too much to say,

But now I see they were just doing their best- They just did it the wrong way.

Trying to make ends meet- But at any moment they could meet their end,

Prison or even death- With those options how can you win.

No more blame placed upon them- I see they did their best to try,

But as I see it my tear ducts fill- I grab a pen and make this poem cry.

Because over the years I've hardened- Now it's impossible to care,

Pushing everyone away from me- Because yes, of Love I am scared.

I don't know how to accept it- So instead I choose to reject it,

As a kid I was shown attention- But I still felt neglected.

Growing up was kinda hectic- My emotions were always tested,

I turned cold at the age of 14- And 5 years ago is when I left it.

I left my love behind- Chose to travel this road solo,

And now because of that choice- Everyday I feel so low.

And so goes the story- Of me- A year later I'm still trying,

Trying to hold back these tears- So instead I make poems cry,

And a year later it's still crying.