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Still Me
Just because musically, I don't say the things that I usually, talk about,
Doesn't mean that every word out of my mouth....Is about,
A hoe or a bitch- no offence- Or about how I'm so rich,
Because when you break down my life- You'll see I don't have shit.
I'm broker than a bitch- But I don't mean 'bitch' in the female term,
I mean I must pinch...pennies- And every penny has been hard earned.
But not from a 9-5- But from the age of 9....plus 5,
Just trynna stay alive- From age 14 to 19, the differential....is 5.
At the age of 5 we moved here- And now 14 years later- I'm still here,
I still fear Life- And now I'm 19...These numbers can't be right,
Maybe it's just conincidental insight- Or maybe there is hope...in sight.
Or could it mean the end might- Be nearer to here than I had previously feared,
Unsure of who or what I believe- I pray- But no tears.
I'm prepared for whatever it is- That who ever he is decides to send my way,
But if "He", really 'Is'- I just hope he listens when I pray.
And that he understands when I say- It's hard for me to believe,
Because 90% of the time- The one you want to depend on...leaves.
Which leaves you to question- The blessings you never recieved,
Which in turn, only causes stressing- Eventually causing your eyes to bleed.
You cry tears of need- Because you need to feel security,
But you have been fucked over by Life- Instantly taking your purity.
Surely, God- Can understand this uncertainty,
Just give me 5 minutes out of these 19 years- To explain why it's hurting me.
Certainly, that can't be- Too much of me to ask of you,
I know you're busy- But you have ignored me these past few.
Just let me run it past you- That is, only if you really 'Are',
Because from here to there- Sending prayer is mighty hard- Cuz you're just so far.
And so far...Nothing- Has ever really gone my way,
So the ways that I used to pray have suddenly gone away- And I've gone astray.
A lost kid with a lost soul- With a lost mind- On a distant highway,
And my way- It seems- Hasn't been the right way- But if I might say.
I've done pretty decently- Even though I've been let down repeatedly.
You see- I don't need you to hear 'this'- I need you to feel 'Me',
I need you to see past just 'this'- And see into the real me- As I reveal me,
Using words and rhymes and lyrics- To emotionally heal me.
I will be O.K and I will be alright- Many things I will be,
But whatever happens- Between me and God- You and I- Me and the world,
The main thing I will be- Is still me.
