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Tug-of-War
I wish to die and I wish to live
Both are brilliant in their own right
And both are very difficult for me
My hope for death has never been as strong as it is now
I would like to explain myself
But there is far too much for me to write
My will to live, too, is strong in this moment
I have much to live for
And many dreams to fullfill
But there is a battle going on inside me
In my mind, a tug-of-war between life and death
The urge to be done with all this pain has almost won
I want nothing more than to hurt myself again
It solves nothing, I know, but I enjoy it
I can't though, because I've promised I wouldn't
I am becoming weak
Far past my breaking point
Nearly mad trying to take away others' pain
But who will take away mine?
I'd like to think someone still cares enough
Won't you save me?
Death would be so simple
But to leave behind the ones who love me?
That would be too much to bare, even in death
But as their numbers drop rapidly
I find my will breaking ever so slowly
Everyone would get on just fine without me
I wanted to change the world
I wanted to have a family of my own
I wanted to be a special ed. teacher
But now that I've thought about it
I know exactly how I'll change the world
By getting rid of one **** up girl
This is the last quivering breath I'll ever take
No more pain
No more tears
Watch me fade
