Expectations vs. Reality


I like to say I don’t have expectations, but the truth is I do. I often don’t know what they are, I just take in the realities and don’t think until I look back and figure out what I thought. And I never end up thinking what I’m supposed to think.


I do not kiss her back when my head my heart my body is screaming to. I let her think this is not what I was expecting, not what I want. This is not a movie. But the next time I kiss her it explodes.


I do not pin her against the wall in one smooth motion like you are fictionally supposed to. In fact, the process of pinning her to the wall involves a lot more breathless laughing and tripping over each other’s feet and general not smoothness.


I do not give her exactly what she wants. Half the time I don’t know what it is. I give her what I can, what I need to, and hope it’s enough.


I do not do everything right. She is as imperfect as I am. But if she was perfect I would run the other way. I would rather have this reality.

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Written 7/26/17

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