Grief, Hurt, and Anger

You were my rock
My stone in which I leaned on, often
Where did you go and when are you coming back?
So many questions for so many years...
Long before you disappeared for good

I hold onto so much regret
So much pain, such hurt
Sometimes it seems my heart is still hollow
And that is when I wonder if you will ever come back
So many times you have gone
So often did you move on, on your own
And left me behind, wondering what I did 

But this is for real, the end...
There is no longer any promise for your return
I still sometimes sob for the man I will never truly know

The adult I have become is in result of you and my Mama
Too young was my innocence lost,
Feeling abandoned and forgotten
As I often witnessed more than any child should

Why do I share this with you now, you may ask
I have not a clue
I guess I have gotten farther into grief and closer to acceptance
I wish you were here so I could tell you how angry I still am
How much hurt is still residing beneath

I miss you, Papa
I love you
Please do not take this hurt,
This grief
As my loss of love for you

Author's Notes/Comments: 

In memory of my Papa who passed on 12/21/2001.

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