Nonexistent

I'm glad it's so easy

To pretend that I'm gone

So much easier than admitting I exist

I'm happy for you,

Really I am

And that you can get through a day

Without the pain I carry in my chest

The anxiety that weighs me down

The drowning feeling

As I open my mouth for air

But flounder instead

Maybe you'll see me

If only you'd open your eyes

Act like maybe you give a shit

And give me peace of mind

The games you play

How old are you, again?

Shouldn't we be past this?

But, alas, I am nothing

I am crumbling 

I am fading

Because this pain is taking over

I know you don't care

If you did,

Maybe I'd hear from you

Who the fuck am I kidding?

I'll just sit here, quietly 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written: 2/2018

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