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jealous much?
walking through the world
i see so much i want
so much i need
so much that's not me.
so much for learning to live with me
seeing happiness is enough to drive me mad
seeing lovers love makes me want what i never had
a hatred that i have
for things that aren't
for things that i'm not
for things that i am.
want to be something else
want to be with someone
want to be someone
i could be the moon
but i'd still be jealous of the stars
hating the world
embracing my own scars
something more than me
jealous much? you bet
malcontent? damn straight
my friends have it all
and i've still got more
but i feel the pain
anger, nothing more
pains from the past
should be gone
allways last
seeing this happiness
makes me sick
why can't they be miserable
at least for me
self pity? damn straight
manic deppressive? fuck yes
i try to believe
and i try to find
things that make me happy
i can't reach it
i cannot see
it should be right in front of me
it's not....
i'm just rambling on
just rambling on
no point anymore
i'm supposed to keep believing in something, maybe
instead of crying for nothing
i cannot listen
i cannot see
i'm supposed to have dreams
but they only make me weak
i'm not normal
and i do have friends
but i want something more
i want to be held
i want to be reassured
i want someone to be my rock
it's allways the other way around
even a shield must be repaired
i can protect everyone else
and i can worry for them
but i leave myself to my own devices
fuck it man. i can't stand it man
fuck your happiness
fuck the couples
fuck the children
and fuck you
i hope she cheats on you
i hope he bangs your best friend
i want to see misery
i want to see someone else get the shaft
someone else get the boot
i wanna know what it's like to not get fucked
i'm not one to do the fucking
but i'd still like to see it happen
i hate it...
i hate that i'm so weak
so petty
so vulnerable...
something should be over
it's not
something shouldn't hurt anymore
it does
something shouldn't keep bugging me
it continues
i'm still not over it
and i'm not sure what it is
my mind is a torturous place
i really want to just end it all
i'm allready a disgrace
just seal my fate
fuck it man
