Dear Lindsay

Folder: 
Letters

Dear Lindsay,

This is the first I've written those words

The first I've needed to

And I keep thinking

About how I shouldn't

Need to write your name

Because you belong to a past

That I've tried to put behind me

And yet I find

It's always in the present

Because you've left so many open wounds.



Dear Lindsay,

You fucked up my life

You broke my heart and soul

And you killed those around me

Who loved you most

Who loved you more than me

Because you were their angel

Their darling little girl

And now all that you are to them

And all you will ever be

Is a big dissappointment.



Dear Lindsay,

I still lie to myself

Saying maybe, they've learned to love me

For who I am

Because you're not here to love

But it only makes it worse

They still love you

More than they will ever me

And now I am just a tool

That they try to use

In order to get you back.



Dear Lindsay,

This life's a living hell

And it's all your fault

These tears I cry

Fall down because of you

You had so much to offer

You had so much to give

You had so much given to you

And all you wanted to do was take

Take from them, and take from me

Until there was nothing left to take.



Dear Lindsay,

You left me without a sister

You left me without a life

How does that make you feel?

Knowing that you took my life away

When it was just set to start

As I followed you to school

Like the loving brother I was

But that was your problem, wasn't it

It was me, all along

It was all my fault.



Dear Lindsay,

I don't want to know you anymore

I don't want to know you exist

You've hurt this family enough

For ten lifetimes to come

But still you inflict the pain

As if it were nothing to you

While we writhe in our own blood

That you've spilt

On this reddened floor

You once walked up.



July 3, 2002

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Wonderful runaways....

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