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Again it appears that

I have found myself in hell

Everything is beating me into submission

I have brought this damnation upon myself

I can only feel that

I am trapped in hell right now

That I have no way to escape, no solace, no hope

My whole life feels like one big curse

That I neither knew about nor chose

I am afraid of dying because

All I can imagine is hell after wards

I'm sick of living here because

All I experience is hell

I don't know what to do anymore

I feel as if I wake up everyday

To fight a battle that I cannot win

I feel as if I damned myself and

That God will never love me

I feel as if I am a curse to the world

And to those around me

One year into another has only

Brought more things to obsess about, be sad about

And ultimately be terrified of

I can't find anyone else to blame

If God is as you say He is than He would not do this to me

I must be the reason, my sin must be the cause

I've done horrible things since I can remember

This is who I am