Dead John

I kept waiting for the right time to do this

Only to realize that there is never a right time

I kept looking for the right words to say to you

I didn't want to hurt you

But there aren't right words.

I'm sad that it came to this, but I can't help

The way that I feel.

And while I love you so much,

I just don't think we fit.

We aren't a match.  We were never

Meant to be.  And I can't tell you

How sorry I am.



I rehearsed all the things I could say.

Trying so hard not to sound callous

Or cruel.  But it doesn't matter, because

The second I open my lips to tell you.

That I can't keep going on like this.

All the pretty little speeches that I've written

Will fly out of my head, and I'll be left standing

Stammering, and scarlet.  

Because as much as I want to be nice.

I can't be.  I should have been quick

And decisive, but instead I've drawn it out

Into this melodrama, this all consuming

Aspect of life.  I just don't want to seem

Heartless, and I don't want to hurt you.



But spending so much time thinking about it

There is no way to do what I have to

Without hurting you.  And I wish you the best.

I'm not good enough for you, because

I'll never return the feelings that you feel for me.

I don't feel the same way, and while I wish I

Did, somewhere... deep down, I don't.

And trying to pretend that I do,

Well, it's not going to do either of us any good.



I hope we can stay friends.  But I don't expect

That that will happen.  And I hope that you

don't hate me, but you probably do right now.

And you're within your right.  I'm sorry that

I allowed this to linger to this point, but

had it gone one longer, I think I would have

hated you.  And I would have found

The cruelest and most painful ways to hurt you

Just to see the pain in your eyes.  

And I didn't want to do that to so.



"I'm sorry but I'm not right for you, you met me at a time in my life where I wasn't ready for anything as serious as this, and I can't keep going with the flow our relationship has taken, because later, I'll hurt you even worse that now.  I wish you the best in finding someone who is going to love you the way that I wasn't able to.  And I hope she's half as good to you as you were to me"



9:00 AM 4-17-05

View sidhe_whispers's Full Portfolio