unimportant

i'm surprised anyone remembers myname

i mean, they don't know

that i have problems or feelings

except when i say 'aww, that's too bad'

or 'really? i'm happy for you.'

when i listen to them talk

i wonder if anyone ever

listens to me

i wonder if they know i cry tears, just like them

or that i laugh and smile

and get mad and scream

and pull my hair out

just like them

do they know that i have strict parents?

what about my sisters? do they know about them?

or my friends?

my enemies?

my school life?

my love life?

if i had one...

do they know that i hurt?

that i'm lonely, so utterly alone?

do they know that i crave attention?

their attention

anyone's attention

i'd like someone to listen to me

and care

and be interested

and say, 'aww, that's too bad'

and someone to be happy for me

i guess i'm too nice, too quiet, too afraid

maybe a little too unimportant for someone to want to hear about my day

or maybe even my life

if i had one...

i told my best friend once

one night

i told her all about me

everything she says i never tell her

i laughed alot when i talked about my sisters

and i think i even cried when i told her about my mom and dad

i never cry

i wonder if she was surprised that me,

the one who doesn't say much of anything to anyone

coutldn't stop talking

i said it all

but i wonder if she heard anything

i want to ask her what she remembers about that night

and tell her to forget about it all

but i'm not sure what she knows

i'm not even sure if it counts

oh, the first time i've ever opened up to anyone!

... we were both high and tired and couldn't sleep

i guess it was kind of useless

i hardly remember what i said

so i couldn't expect her to

maybe another time then

well, at least she's got my name down

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