All That I Am

Broken into pieces,

Shattered on the floor.

My heart is useless,

To love never, no more.

All because of you,

I hurt inside.

Wishing you didn’t wield this power over me.

I say that I don’t love,

And that is the truth.

But what is it about you that prevents me from loving another?

Why do I hold back?

Afraid to let people in?

I could blame it on having my heart broken,

But that’s not the entirety of it.  

You should be the example of what I won’t look for in a person.

Your phony smile,

With your cold eyes.

And your even colder heart!

Why did I ever love you?

Why did I ever allow myself to be blinded by your ways?

Why was I so gullible?

To let you misguide me this way?

Why did I allow you to fill my head with all of those hurtful things?

That mostly ended up making me more messed up than I already was.

What have I done for you to treat me this way?

I was just a child.

Whatever you had against me was not my fault.

All of your lies and your mind games left me this way.

So why do you pretend to be hurt when I tell you I can’t stay?

Living with you has done nothing for me,

But make me weak.

I want to be strong.

I want to stand on my own two feet.

I want to not need anybody.

You tried as hard as you could to break me down,

But all of your efforts were in vain,

For they have only made me stronger after all.

And you couldn’t break me,

Or make me fall.

I’ve done things that you would never have dreamed of letting me do.

I’ve had relationships.

I’ve loved.

I’ve made love.

I have a job.

I’ve made friends.

Most you wouldn’t approve of I’m sure.

I am conquering my fears of people.

I am not afraid anymore.

So thank you.

As much as you tried to break me,

I am free.

And all that I am,

Is of no thanks to you.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This poem was directed at my father.

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