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Out of Control
It seemed so harmless,
Now its spiraled out of my control,
These dreams are taking there toll,
Not only on me, but it seems to eat away at your soul.
I never thought it would turn out like this,
You have to trust me,
I never dreamt it would end this way,
You have to believe in me.
I tried so hard to keep you out of all of this,
Yet again and again you knocked on the door,
Well come on in, please dont mind the blood no the floor.
Take a look around at the void that my life had become,
Take a peek at what i tried to convince you to avoid.
Love twisted, Love deranged,
Hatred seems normal, Desolation is so arranged.
A path id rather have walked alone,
Now for dragging you down with me, i can never attone.
This strikes me deep, scarring me to the very bone.
I watched the resolution of destitution,
I saw the failings of perfection.
I Witnessed the shattering of a human heart,
I watched myself fall apart.
And with this elation, i found myself
With this realization, i found you.
With the desperation, I also found the thin glass wall,
Separating me from you.
That glass wall,
For all intents and purposes
Might as well be concrete,
Ill never be able to break through it.
Just look on and wonder
What if i had been right?
So long i had to be perfect,
This isnt an excuse but wasnt I able to fail?
Wasnt i Ever allowed to make a damn mistake?
I didnt ask for this,
I didnt want it all,
You gotta trust me....
This wasnt my dream,
It wasnt supposed to be this way,
Kneeling in a pool of blood,
Looking at sirens,
Staring at deaths cold smile.
This aint what i wanted,
No more then you do now.
This is never what i wanted to start,
I never wanted this title.
But wants and needs do differ,
Only now can my eyes see this.
Forced into action,
My only thought was a reaction.
Too bad that reaction wasnt right.
A little high a little wide....
Why god, why
Why him, not me?
He should read this not me...
He had something to live for,
He had dreams.
They all did,
and now all i call see is them in my dreams.
Except those dreams were real,
They were all lies,
My dreams,
Not his got us into this...
I got us into this mess and for some reason only i will get out.
I just want to know why i got this,
Why did i have to be perfect...
Everyone can make mistakes,
Everyone but me.
With one word,
I ruined it all.
With one glance, you all fell.
