@ 27.055 MHz: Ad Astra; Elegy For Antinous, Addressed To The Emperor Hadrian

[for SweetLeaf:  loving you, I understand, now,

the vast emotion Hadrian felt toward Antinous]

Sometimes, the sadness comes on a great wave;

often it flows through you in subtle ripples.

And how it hurts---no matter how they say

it should subside.  Tenacious is this sorrow

and makes today the same as yesterday:

and as dismal, and sepulchral and gray

(a pall and cerements) will be tomorrow.

Travel from west to east, and north to south,

yet no escape can be found, no retreat.

You miss his lively presence, and you crave

his beauty---the stargaze within his eyes, 

his hair (all those soft curls) and that shy smile;

the playfulness of his erected nipples;

his slender, agile, and always bare feet;

and his firm Pleasurer, ready to rise,

always responsive to the slightest touch;

the way his flesh tensed at ejaculation

(no inhibition and no hesitation,

intruding):  his profuse, glistening sweetness

released upon you, or into your mouth

to bring the intimacy to completeness.

But, more than that, his personality,

his gentle candor and plain honesty

(lacking in all conceit, unmoved by guile)

gave him a sustenant vivacity.

A poem like this is just a brief notation;

an amateur surmise, a glancing gloss

that never can measure how very much

you miss him, nor the huge depth of your loss.



Author's Notes/Comments: 

Until I fell in love with SweetLeaf, I never fully understood the crushing sorrow that Hadrian suffered after the death of his Beloved, Antinous.  


The poem alludes to a concept I call the "stargaze"---which is the look in the eyes of someone who experiences the pleasure of Homosexual Love.


The Apostle Saint John wrote that Love is God (1st Epistle 4:8), and Love will not allow the ultimate loss of such an affection as Hadrian and Antinous shared:  it has been enshrined in the upper Cosmos, among the stars.  This, too, I learned from loving SweetLeaf.

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