Day Dreaming Confusion

January 2010

The quarter has been flipped, as my eyes slowly find you,
it may be heads or tails to your eyes, but to me it is nothing new.
It lands on heads, as we grab each others hands,
and we walk along the bleachers, just as the fans all stand.
I wake up from the dream, in shock that the fantasy is gone,
how crazy was I to trust a beginner of love, and to think I somehow belonged.
I try to pass you and ignore you, every single day,
what is the point of small talk, we have nothing left to say.
Your heart seems iced over, your faucet has turned colder,
I wish I had a plan in life, I continue to get scared as I get older.
You tell me to be happy, and find someone to mend the pain,
but the one who can do it, can not be, just trust these words I am saying.
I dislike myself for that thought, and it fills me with more pain too,
I long to tell my dream girl, in the end it is always you.
Yet what do I expect her to say, I am just another guy,
for just like our kiss of resolution, that time has already passed by.
If only there were true justice, if only the bad side of me,
would never want to party hard again, and for that half to cease to be.
New Years helped me realize who I dream of, but I wish to go back before,
I do not want to know it is you, I do not want this hurt anymore.
I am sure if I were to ever tell you, all you would ask is why?
"I can tell that I just hurt you," yeah you did but what is another cry?
It is annoying to dream of you, and what we could have had,
that life is another universe, one in which I am no longer sad.
Even though I was drunk, and flying like a kite so high,
I want you to know if you ever feel lonely, I will always be your guy.
I know these lines will stick in your mind, and I know you will read these words,
I know I told you everything even though you do not remember, a single thing you heard.
I told you how much I think of you, and what we could sometime in the future be,
and I told you I wished us differently, and I wished your feelings were strong for me.
You are the sole person who surpasses my number one, now I will need to find,
that someone who can surpass the two of you, even if it takes the whole of my lifetime.

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