I am still too hurt and angry to write you an email trying to organize this mess

Talk about things



Or lack there of


I type hallow words full of lies

Because I know my fingers want to say “WHAT THE FUCK!”

And “I hate you!”

“Do you have ANY idea the impact of your ‘actions’ if you can even call them that”

And “You are the shittiest friend I have ever had”

But I know that is not me

Those aren’t my real thoughts or feelings

That’s just anger on its worst day

That’s fear raging in me like dragon’s fire

Burning down my image of you because I cared enough to let you hurt

And you hurt me

So I’m too angry to talk about us

And I can’t let my fingers have their way

So when I finally find the energy to do what I have to do

My rational brain will say

“So I’m in the show this month”

Then hit send before my fingers can say

 I don’t want to be



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