Will it get easier.....it still hurts

I sometimes feel unsure of how to feel
I sometimes am in denial
I sometimes can't stop being sad
I sometimes wonder why you left this world so soon

The fact that this day was meant for you to celebrate yet are not here to do so hurts
The thought of having to imagine why you simply left without understanding still hurts
I can't begin to tell you how much I think about you and your smile
How when i feel down and out remembering the joy you brought so many can still be felt

Today was to be your day of joy, celebration and reflection
Instead its a day or remembrance, sorrow and pain
I don't and can't being to explain what your loss has meant to me
i can tell you that not a day goes by that you don't cross my mind

I know you won't be back
I know I won't ever hear your infectious laughter
i know i can never see your radiant smile
But i want you to know Auntie, i carry your spirit with me everyday
I feel your spirit in the moments when I am not feeling my best you get me through
On the days I see no point you show me one

Although you may not be here in person Auntie I feel you around
I try to keep my promise to you of living with the same passion you did
I hope your proud of me Auntie
Cause i sure am proud of you

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