White Rabbit

You'll continuously find me buried deep
And you'll never understand why I don't help myself
You'll come to find that there's something wrong
And yet nothing wrong at all
To the world, the sun is just coming up
But to me.. it was always fading away
There is no warmth in my life that I can find
Did you expect me to be perfect after all this?
All I've been through was pure agony
And you think I'll ever be alright?
Maybe I will, maybe I won't
But I'm stronger than I used to be
This much I know, it will take time to heal
But until then the pain will take over
And I'll crawl into my hole
My hole full of chaos, insanity and fear
Where all of it combined makes me cry tears of blood
Blood no one can see, not even I, but I can feel it
So don't bother me for awhile
And don't ask too many questions
I'll smile as much as my heart will let me
Because I will never remain this way
Caution is the key
Trust is worth having
But not everyone is worth your time
So save your heart for the caring
Save your soul for the daring
Because sometimes all that what is
Is not what it all seems
Choosing the wrong path isn't wrong at all
Because the right one will find you again
You are never one thing forever
There is an end to every beginning
And a beginning to every end
But you know you'll fall down that hole eventually
And you know you'll experience the pain
But later you'll realize...
The pain was worth it to one day feel the warmth again
And you'll smile with more feeling than ever before
It will be a dreaded memory
But it will be something that you realized you needed
Because everything happens for a reason

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is about how things that hurt you can cause you to slip downward for awhile, not always necessarily into insanity but something that almost feels like it. This is also about how all these things can make you stronger, it shows how strong I've become, I recognize this within myself that I'm stronger than I used to be. This is also a reference to Alice in Wonderland and how you've got to do what you need to do to keep going on, whether it's suffer through bad times or live in your fantasies, but either way you can't let things hurt you. You've always got to look at things positively and know that somehow what it was helped you become a better you.

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