Chasing Your Memory


I wish I didn't love you
After everything we've been through
I wish I could forget you
Just erase you from my mind
I wish the I could hate you
Maybe then I could be find
It's incredibly sadistic
That I love you and want you
Knowing that you never loved or wanted me
I wish I could igore you
When you stop to say hello
I wish I could erase you
Like you were never anyone I've known
I wish I could break free from
The hold you have on me
I mean hell, you've spent your life living free
So why the hell am I still chasing your memory?
I should've stayed disappeared
Instead of showing just in time
To see you have returned
Not even knowing what it does to me
To see you every day
It's not really like you ever cared to see
The spaces that I keep
And every time I see your face
It takes me back in time
To the fist time that I saw you
While I was staring at the sky
I wish you'd never found me
After so much passing time
I wish you'd never wanted
To meet the man I was that night
I've tried so hard, forgetting and moving on
But no one takes my breath and makes my heart skip beats
Like the way you don't even try when you speak to me
And everyone that's followed in your wake
Has been left with the same mistake
That I've caused by being torn up over you
I gave them all that same damn feeling
That I hated getting from you
I finally gave up trying
I finally let me die
Because I can never love another
While you're always in my mind
I can never find the freedom
To let another's love inside
Because no matter what efforts I make
Or how many ways I try
Every time I see you
I'm taken back to that first night
And it always makes me miss the darkness more
When I'm staring out into the night
How is it that the heart can manage to always want
What wants nothing to do with it
How is it that an incessant love
Can continue to live on, unabated and unrequited
Why am I so fucked up in the head
That I would continue to love you
After you've chose to love others
The best question to ask is why there's no off button
You're not the only one I've fallen for
But you're the only one I can't let go
And the damnedest part of it all
Is you never even gave us a try
So how can I love someone I was never with
I mean, I know what made me fall in
But can't figure out what stops me from falling out
What is it about you, that I'll never even know
Makes me still want to love you so
I wish that I could forget
I wish I could let go
I don't even want you, or want you to want me
And I'd really love it if I didn't love you
I guess this is how life will always be
With me always being too stupid to stop
Chasing your memory

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