Float Upwards

My Personal Faves

This that million billion
zillion other things
swarm like bees, thoughts do
I just can't decide

Stop! Just stop! I
Close my eyes
Then close them tighter
Images flash

Feel breath leaving, somewhat choppy
Never tears
I just feel numb
Til I see your face
It brings me here

Back to now
What i want, i love
It is always art
My life, my dream

I feel so weak
held down by waves that
Pull me under, I
Fight, I struggle
Im a child
Tossed and suffocating
Blinded by the bubbles and noise
Which way up
How can I find it?

Will I float towards sunlight if I'm calm?
Or must I deliberately and actively swim upwards?
Open my eyes and seek light, if it stings my eyes?
Or have faith in my air-filled lungs to make me rise?

how can I think myself
Out of this blind spot
When the reason
I'm so deep
Is my thoughts themselves?

Rabid vermon
Keep me in self-inflicted wounds
And punishment
Self destruction --such a force

I guess I am stronger than I thought
But I use my strength to hurt myself
Like I would hurt
no one else

Angry bitter; That is fine
But to take a chance on love again
Well that seems foolish

When it hurts inside
So badly you want to give up
Rather than face heartbreak again
I cannot fight it
I guess I'll just hope
Float Upwards

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