Father of Lies

The ancient shoes of the fisherman and the heavy gold tiara

Although comfortable, when not worn all day  

And all you do is sit and pray.

Were found by some incumbents, a rather loose fit

So they needed lots of paper to pack them out a bit..

These purpose made papers are now free for all

So if the table rocks or your shoe doesn't fit

Take the Liber Pontificalis and tear off a bit

If the hat's too big, but is really fine

Buy it anyway and try a tip of mine,

Line it with the Donation of Constantine

When you've used up the lot and you still need more

Then get yourself a copy of the Pseudo-Isidore.

When later in the summer you attract bad looks and flies

Print the T-shirt:

„That's not my stench, that's the Papal lies!'"'

Now another has resurfaced, it's in circulation still

„A condom will not save you, whereas abstinence will'"'

Which went down rather well  

In the countries who for centuries have had their fill

Of the pasty faced missionary with bible and bell

For where sex is all you have in life and all you have to sell,  

A short life's one abundance

There the faithfull walk out of the church to the local village dance

Where they find someone and take a chance.

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