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Injustice
I’m not trying to justify shit.
I’m wondering how you can justify
The way I was treated.
You made me feel like shit.
And he wasn’t just a kid,
He was twenty years old.
I remember this
Because you remember this shit
When you’re just a kid.
I was six years old.
I literally tried hiding
Just to protect myself.
You just stared off into space
I guess to protect yourself
From a confrontation
That wasn’t worth it,
Wasn’t I worth it?
Then you try patronizing me
Like I’m just looking
For a confrontation.
Like I’m just the result of something
You wanted
Which turned out to be a confrontation.
Isn’t that what all your relationships are?
In school I’d obsess over one person
Hoping that person could make me whole.
But that’s not what relationships are.
Or I’d pick out every imperfection
And degrade that person
Just so that person thought
I was someone not to be degraded.
But that’s just what relationships are.
So now I’m trying to be healthy
Trying not to let my wounds
Decide for me what should be healed.
And now I just know isolation
Like I just cannot remember
What relationships are.
I remember what living with you is.
I remember trying to protect my momma
And trying not to think
If momma would protect me or not.
That’s how I got through living.
I remember I had to let you go
And they look down on me.
He won’t even protect his own momma.
But it was the only way
I could get through living.
You fucked me up enough
That I don’t really know
If I’m living.
I just know what I have to do
And I do it.
And that will never have to be justified.
