How to get dumped

I give advice that helps people get out of relationships that are bad.

When my advice gets you dumped, you will be grateful and glad.

The best way to get dumped is to go three months without bathing.

Your companion will bust down the door to get away because you'll be scathing.

Another good way to get dumped is by picking your nose.

If that doesn't work, ask them to take off their clothes.

A sure way to get fired is to say that you have herpes.

Nothing makes a person run faster than a venereal disease.

It's awful when we have bad relationships that we're stuck in.

But if you take my advice, you will be single again.

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