Married more times than Elizabeth Taylor

A couple of my wives left because of the way they were treated.

But most of them left because I cheated.

My last wife left because I have the mouth of a sailor.

I've been married more times than Elizabeth Taylor.

Is adultery really grounds for a divorce?

When I ask my therapist, he says of course.

I've been married eighteen times and I'm only thirty-six.

When I get married, my wives usually leave pretty damn quick.

When it comes to a certain part of my anatomy, I'm not well-endowed.

That doesn't help and neither does having the face of a sow.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is a fictional poem

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