So easy a Caveman can do it IX: Half Caveman

Dozens of women chase after my half brother.

He only has half the hair that I do because he has a human mother.

Lots of women jump his bones because of his lack of hair.

Not even one of them have jumped my bones and it's unfair.

Just for once I wish that I was the one who the women adore.

But they rip my brother's clothes off and I always get ignored.

I'm frustrated because of this anger that I harbor.

People say that can be fixed by a trip to the barber.

My brother keeps getting women; he's knocked up over twenty this year.

Because I'm nearing forty and am unmarried, my mom thinks I'm a queer.

I went to the doctor yesterday because I felt under the weather.

He said that I have virginitis which means I'll be a virgin forever.

My brother rubs it in when he and his ladies get together because they always have a hoot.

I may not have the women but at least I'm not the one who was just slapped with a paternity suit.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

THIS IS A FICTIONAL POEM.

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