Ugly duckling syndrome


From the beginning the mirror was never my friend,
I stopped looking at my reflection,
only when it was necessary.

Too overweight, too skinny,
not pretty enough.

A natural beauty that was never my own,
I'm not gorgeous, lovely,
breathtaking, better off alone.

Eyes filled with shadows,
mixed with colors,
seeing things in shades of gray.

Sad and twisted smile,
lost in the remnants of yesterday.

Sooner or later everyone left,
pushing away those who stayed.

Created a mess,
uncaring about the damage I made.

Misplaced blame, borrowed time,
stolen moments of comfort,
was it such a crime?

Somewhere along the way I died inside,
6 feet deep, wasting away with time.

My eyes stopped looking,
my heart stopped burning,
I stopped learning.

A wraith, going through the motions,
waiting for the night.

Once the sun set,
everything would be alright.

Singing a mournful song in the confines of hell,
could no one find me,
pull me from my shell?

All I wanted was love,
a home somewhere over the rainbow.

Where dreams could come true,
where I could have you.

Fairy-tales and tragedies,
they all sound alike.

But I'm not Cinderella, Aurora,
Jasmine or Snow White.

I'm not a beauty in love with a beast,
a mermaid loving an impossible dream.

Worthless, empty,
broken and fallen,
not even deserving the one I was calling.

I had no place in this world,
only in darkness.

The light was too blinding,
it would never accept the likes of me.

Who am I now,
with you by my side?

All I became was a ghost of a girl,
with too much to hide.

You stripped away my false beliefs,
made a dreamer out of me.

You gave me faith, something unfathomable,
something I could never be.

You gave my tune the words it was missing,
I spent too long reminiscing.

Clinging to the graves with an iron fist, refused to let go,
you made me weak, made me grow.

A wilted rose in December, trying to survive the harsh cold,
my petals fell one by one into the snow.

One day I made a choice, I was tired of barely existing,
whether I was burned or not, I was going to play with fire, resurrecting.
like a Phoenix, rising from my ashes, I turned it all around.

I said everything I felt, thought and wondered,
it felt so great to have those gates finally opened.

I started walking an unknown path,
who can tell where it led,
I had taken every other one before,
only to find I was running in circles,
this time I chose a different door.

All those decisions lead to a brand new world,
this is my Wonderland, I'm Alice in a rabbit hole.

Reborn from the cursed life I'd lived,
searching though the mists for something more.

What lies just over the horizon,
just around the bend, my curiosity has no end.

Suddenly I turned around, found myself facing a mirror,
I didn't look the same anymore.

An angel who found her grace, a miracle in itself,
but with the same challenges to face.

Somewhere along the way, I managed to change,
the ashes and dust of my former incarceration had begun to fade,
leaving me with only myself and my cage.

Strangely, I realized I didn't know the girl in the glass,
this ugly duckling had become a swan at last.

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