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nightmarish
Folder:
primitive i can't hide.
you obviously can...
with your simple ignorance...
i envy you.
in every picture i see
your eyes won't stop staring me down.
looking back now,
on the deafening ignorance
the misunderstandings
the confusion
the frustration
the obsession.
makes me wish i had never opened my mouth.
once, you acted as if you were
considering your options...
as if you saw some truth.
then if filtered in with the silence.
nothing happened.
just the other day
you appeared without warning.
i pretended like it was nothing,
believed what i told myself...
who cares
he's nothing to you anymore.
but i know what's real.
i wanted to look at you like it was the first time,
like we didn't have a past.
and i know i'm no angel,
but does it take that much trouble
to be kind?
i would have accepted it the way it was from the beginning.
yet you didn't do what you said you would.
someone must have come and blinded you
so i was no longer in your line of sight.
(you still can't see me.)
that day,
you just stared,
expecting the same.
that must have been such a shock for you.
no, i am not as predictable as you'd like to think.
more than anything i wanted to look
through my bleary eyes and see
that beauty i'd been trying to push away.
you left without a trace...
if i know you, you'll be back to taunt me.
i love the lies i tell myself and no one else.
even through this moment,
i believe in us.
