Blissful Night

Folder: 
Growing Pains

I cried night after night and sent text after text made call after call and then my friend told me 

quite simply and honestly...

That you just don't care.

It doesn't matter that I thought we had a connection.

Doesn't matter that it's not fair...

You saw your opening and you used it,

saw that my heart was good so you abused it

and what hurt was...

what was so much worse was...

 

That you never even said goodbye

 

Not a blow up, nor a fight

Just memories from another one of our blissful nights

Laughter, cuddling, Deep conversation,

Kinky sex, sarcastic jokes, Mood elevation

The same thing that happened every time you were here

No clue that it would be our last time together, My dear.

 

One text the next day about a family matter

and the rest you left for me to try to gather

 

but I cant

 

and it sucks

cause see this constant state of flux...

has my mind doing sprints every 5 minutes

leaving my heart a sitting duck

 

Ever the Lion my Ruling Sun

Way too proud for me to run

 

I'm bleeding out being a fool

instead of excepting that everyone needs time to lick their wounds

 

The crippling Cancer of my Ascendant calls me to nurture all to health

makes me forsake my own broken heart instead I worry are you well

 

But my moon...

controller of the tides the Scorpion that pulls at my lunacy

Remembers your touch and longs for our intimacy

and hopes for amends

but is scorned by your betrayal and now wants revenge

 

In the end my understanding of myself did me no service

Logic doesn't heal broken hearts, my bestfriend's Master's Degree is worthless

 

Did I deserve this...?

 

To have my heart tampered with...?

then discarded and disregarded like yesterday's shit?

Who authorized this?

Who gave you the clearance?

What tragedy led to this travesty that ultimately leads me back to my insistence

 

That I'm not supposed to BE happy

I'm supposed MAKE OTHERS feel that.

 

Still... Fuck you would have been sufficient

I can't see you anymore would've been nice

But how do you break a heart with a Blissful Night...?