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Blissful Night
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Growing Pains I cried night after night and sent text after text made call after call and then my friend told me
quite simply and honestly...
That you just don't care.
It doesn't matter that I thought we had a connection.
Doesn't matter that it's not fair...
You saw your opening and you used it,
saw that my heart was good so you abused it
and what hurt was...
what was so much worse was...
That you never even said goodbye
Not a blow up, nor a fight
Just memories from another one of our blissful nights
Laughter, cuddling, Deep conversation,
Kinky sex, sarcastic jokes, Mood elevation
The same thing that happened every time you were here
No clue that it would be our last time together, My dear.
One text the next day about a family matter
and the rest you left for me to try to gather
but I cant
and it sucks
cause see this constant state of flux...
has my mind doing sprints every 5 minutes
leaving my heart a sitting duck
Ever the Lion my Ruling Sun
Way too proud for me to run
I'm bleeding out being a fool
instead of excepting that everyone needs time to lick their wounds
The crippling Cancer of my Ascendant calls me to nurture all to health
makes me forsake my own broken heart instead I worry are you well
But my moon...
controller of the tides the Scorpion that pulls at my lunacy
Remembers your touch and longs for our intimacy
and hopes for amends
but is scorned by your betrayal and now wants revenge
In the end my understanding of myself did me no service
Logic doesn't heal broken hearts, my bestfriend's Master's Degree is worthless
Did I deserve this...?
To have my heart tampered with...?
then discarded and disregarded like yesterday's shit?
Who authorized this?
Who gave you the clearance?
What tragedy led to this travesty that ultimately leads me back to my insistence
That I'm not supposed to BE happy
I'm supposed MAKE OTHERS feel that.
Still... Fuck you would have been sufficient
I can't see you anymore would've been nice
But how do you break a heart with a Blissful Night...?
