Daggers

What I waited for never came.

He said he forgot.

But as of now I don't know where to go from here.

Today we talked again as if nothing was wrong.

I felt uncomfortable and it was all too awkward to be situated with.

We talked about things that made it seem like nothing happened.

Right now I feel like nothing did.

All I hope for is that maybe, just maybe, we could at least talk normally again.

I don't want you to think I'm too good for you.

I never wanted to put myself in a position like that.

You know by now that I don't intend on doing those things.

I don't want to have to walk ahead of you and my best friend because we don't talk.

I made the mistake and I have learned but...

How long do I have to suffer?

I don't want to see you hurt!

I don't want to see you upset!

Maybe I don't want those things...

...because I still care about you as a friend.

I can't take this any longer.

I didn't want to be the one to run back but I guess I am.

"If I ran who would I run to?"

You were always that one.

Now that I'm still bleeding I want to cry.

The knife twists more each day.

I'll take yours out if you pull out mine.

This hurts too much.

I guess ever since these three weeks have passed, the daggers we shoved in the other's backs decided to keep us alive.

Our pain...

...is keeping us alive.

How is that right?

It's not.

But it is the person that still means so much to me.

I accept him for who he is.

If only he did the same for me.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

12/21/04

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