Not A Father


you were my father

at least you were supposed

to be

early pictures showed

you loved me more than anything

later i learned more about you

you were in and out

of jails and prison

and my life

and for what?

drugs and violence

you were there one minute

and gone the next

i didn't know what to think

of you

should i trusst you

should i trust what

i hear abaout you

you used to tell meyou would take me places

and get me things i wanted

but wait

that never happened

for so many years

i believed it all

i believed your lies

you were just trying to

keep me happy

but i honestly just wanted

the truth

the whole-hearted truth

when you passed away

i regretted what i said

"i love you but

dont talk to me until

you can tell the truth"

i regretted it but

i never regretted loving


you gave me life

but you were not a father

to me

Author's Notes/Comments: 

this is about my father who i saw occasionnally when he wasnt locked up and he cared more about his next fix than me

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