Journal 1

I didn't truly percieve the hold you had on me til today

Mixed among the sheets of paper, outlining atoms and kinetics

I thought of you

Pushed through my edge of consciousness - I was writing your name

I'd meant to write some theory of chemistry but instead your name lay clear

A hazy grey that stood out on the crinkled paper

Firm, strong and most of all - without a thought

I didn't truly think this through

You were only supposed to be a means to a very short end

Now you might be the end of me

I can't and won't get through this, not when you come so naturally to mind

You resonate within me now - deeply and instilled

Placed into my visage like a brandish - one i'll gladly wear

Now as I sit in this coffee shop, tucked in the corner of town

I can't help but wonder - are you there, can you truly be here

This question plagues me more than I care to admit

I'm used to control - placing an effect and able to retract my intentions

Placing temporary stakes around me so that I know of the inevitable end

But it all comes down to you - i accepted you without even thinking

It was so easy - falling in love with you 

Yet here I am, scared and unnerved, claved open and undully unprotected

Nonetheless here, even for your worst

The eye of the hurricane, calm instilled among my mixed emotions 

One thing rings clear, brilliantly loud and ever admonishing

I'm here, please be too. 


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