My Own Betrayal

My Own Issues

The feeling of betrayal

running through my veins

I’ve been upset before,

but this is a shattering pain

I get sick to my stomach

when I think about that night

Everything I did so wrong,

and nothing I did right

I cry if I think too much

about the mess I made

There is nothing I wouldn’t do

to take back that day

I’ve felt the horrible pain

of being betrayed by someone else

But it’s nothing compared to the feeling

when you betray yourself

Who am I now?

Who was I then?

I can’t stop thinking

of what could’ve been

I know I can’t be like this

I know I must accept it

But I’m lost now and can’t imagine

how to forgive and forget

Probably because I never will

forget my choices that night

I’ll forever be thankful

to whomever kept me alive

The one who saved me

from what could’ve been

And who will let me go on living

trying to do the best I can

What I did is not all I am

this I must remember

But no matter what I do

this scar will hurt forever

Fall 2003

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I drunk drove one night and got in an accident and i could've gone to jail or died and I was really, really, upset with myself.

View painislove_04's Full Portfolio