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It seems I put 2 steps forward  & 5 backward



It seems as though

No matter how much I

Put forth an effort

I always seem to

Fall 5 steps backward.

The reason I say this

Is because no matter

How hard I fight not

To let my disability

Show. no matter

How hard I try

To hide my disability

From the world the

More it slips up

On me to find a

Way to shine

Through either way.

I was eating 2

Breakfast wraps

This morning

But the food

Kept falling

On me it was

Getting all over

The place, mom

Was becoming more annoyed

At me by the second

It seemed. Just as I was annoyed at myself for being messy. Mom said never again will you order this

I just broke down

And starting cry

I felt so ashamed

I said can’t you

See I try to present

Myself as well as you?

She said I know you

Do I’m just annoyed

At this messy food.

I knew she understood

Where I was coming from

But still I couldn’t help

The fact that I felt as

Though I wanted to crawl

In a black hole and cry forever

And forever.  I still feel that

Way with every word I write.

Sept 12th 2006,