apoptosis (brain)

its aim

further scrutiny

fear for it being over

habit his little lever

dose dependent curve

everything disapearing 

we all look at music factory now like its this corny if not iconic bit of non threating criterion


i remember wherever near pratt 

two, three o clock in the morning

a few inches of fresh snow pack

on the high  train platform above a street- which they repurpose for another neighborhood everytime you loose sight of it

abby bertsch- i got cut in on by some fucking yuppie in 2005 brooklyn hipster warehouse party and she walked right past him, back to me

i felt like i never had to be on my guard again

pot brownie didnt work, shots of absinthe

the pot- our pot


starting from floor ine 

we examine electronegativity from the inside out

oxygen can fit so many places- as can the smaller halogen

and we find ubiquity in her bonding 

it all appears to give off- we will call it heat but we really mean free energy


what we are doing at the most basic level

respiring- burning gently

the gasses find your lungs and ionize the shit out of your cytoplasm

all kinds of oxidative stresses

electrical nightmares

expression pattern reflects- whatever expression pattern reflects on the titanic

denatured, leaking and floppy

environmental systems in play- cell to cell signaling, whole neighborhoods of meat

they try to die to quarantine itself

but they cant

tumor- no

necrotic blotching- tendrils sticking up in big middle fingers to your brain

evoke images finally

and youl feel this

at last

vomiting or shitting yourself

i often think of drowning and feeling the water enter the lung

this time you try to breathe in water

and it fucking works

the gasses- these very nasty gasses

they water split

hydrogen and oxygen opposite poles and you feel it

what was killing you before squelched with the greater element water

the element not as fundamental unit but what is most obviously basic

the most abundant with the most available reactive

some second messenger

something sweet

inside of you

ive known you forever



things that boil down to

things that you notice

and themes of everything- even itself- on tv- in informational brochures- college textbooks- multiverse-a simple atom- 

we draw from larger energy producing systems

its unsustainable for all but the shortest timescales

that seems like such an eternity for the relativistic solutes

colorless trapped

displacing what it might be but for pressures- proton guns- high power magnets

little girls blow bubbles

what a place they might have picked for it

slopes affect movement- what it might have caught on, like a stream- densities 

never defeated her on these familiar time scales

leads to a duty 

not becaause your jati

but because you understand the girl blowing on human timescales and it seems proper to extend it

and you know that it will, the blowing, disintegrate the earth

the more you realize it the more it takes to engage


fisher indole

wolfe kichner

someones reagent

how those 2 dimensions of solids turn to color

to color

to color

physical electricity in a spacial stone or ball or something yes everywhere at the same time but there, matter for christ sake

to color

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