Something More Meaningful

Personal Poems

It's been awhile.

Quite some time.

Everything’s the same.

Half this shit I write...

Just different words on the same topic.

Never think different.

Always the same.







What else is there?

Is that all to my life?

I realize now what they mean...

I realize now all my mistakes.

Stupid words said at the wrong time.

So for now I think I’m going to sigh off.

Stop the cull of thoughts.

Stop the rants and questions.

Stop dealing with nothing but myself.

Write about others.

About you.

About a man I want to be.

A man I want to find.

And for once,

Even if for a moment be happy.

It’s a new year.

A new beginning.

And a new me.

I've tried to change for you all.

But it’s not easy,

And not going to be as fast as you want it to be.

I care about you all.

I never want to lose you.

But before I leave I must warn you...

I'm a selfish bastard.

I will always take the side that affords me the most friends.

I didn't need it.

Walking about a desolate parking lot...

Turn to see you walk the other way...

Turn back to see what is before me once more.

A glance to the past,

And a look of a future.




I yearn for it,

And shudder when it’s near.

And it’s near now.

I fell back to what I once was.

The one who enjoyed one on one contact.

Not large groups of friends,

Just you and me.

How it should be.

Much easier.

No one has to act cool.

We don't care.

It’s not the same.

I missed the quiet chill.

The breeze.

The sounds of life.

And not the sounds of their voices.

Can cry and not worry about them seeing.

Look up to the stars I haven’t seen in so long.

Spill my thoughts to the air.

As I sit alone,

Shivering in the cold.

Never forget that I always care.

I just don't like being accused...

Never forget that I appreciate you answering when I call.

No matter who you’re talking to.

And never forget that she is my best friend,

And I will work things out with her,

Because it’s not worth losing her over your stupid ideals.

So for now I leave this realm.

Go back to who I was.

Go for the walk on Bear Mountain,

That I have longed for so long...

Slip out into the dark night.

And disappear out of sight.

Maybe you'll see this again.

But maybe ill run away.

But I never can leave you...

I don't know where I’m going,

But I know where I’m from.

And as long as I remember the past.

I can't fail at the future...


I’ve made a lot.

Too many to count.


More then I want to know...

But regrets are mistakes.

And it just adds to the weight.

If we learn from mistakes,

Then I should be a fucking genius.

Guess that’s not always true...

So goodbye,


And if I awake to see a new day,

Ill be in your arms once more...

...If only there where arms I belonged in...

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